A Mother’s Agony: Grieving Mother Turns Agony to Activism for ‘A Remarkable’ Son
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Today makes 10-years and ten month my son been murder by Coach USA/NJ Transit bus driver Wilson Roman.
My son's thoughts are always on my mind. Holidays used to be something I looked forward to; now they are often a painful reminder of my child that was lost. Mother's Day is no exception, for I will not receive a card, e-mail, text message, or phone call. Instead, I will light a candle in his memory and continue to fight for justice and change in his honor. I hope that no other mother will have to experience the same heartbreak that I have endured.
On July 18th, it will be eleven years since my 22-year-old only child, Deshon, lost his life as a Coach USA bus driver operating an NJ Transit bus. In New Jersey, Romain, the bus driver, accelerated the bus and aimed it toward Deshon, knocking him into the street, running him over, and dragging him 58 to 100 feet. Deshon's attorney asked Romain why he did not stop. Romain claimed he had no idea that anyone had been hit. As I reflect on the upcoming anniversary of Deshon's passing, I can't help but feel the pain of his absence. I hope that justice will be served so that no other family has to endure this kind of tragedy.
On the tragic day of July 18th, the majority of my hopes, joys, and dreams were taken from me. My son's thoughts are always on my mind. My son's birthday used to be something I looked forward to; now they are often a painful reminder of my child that was lost. I am unable to give him a birthday card, write a birth poem to see his expression, and can't e-mail him, text message, or call him on his cellphone. I crave to hear my son's voice. I recall my son will always tell me how people praise him for his performance after a concert. I will never hear my son sing again. I will never get to experience that feeling again. I hope that by advocating for better safety measures and raising awareness about the dangers of reckless driving, we can prevent other families from experiencing the same heartbreak that mine has endured.
I remember when he told me how people told him he was a really good singer and lyrists'. He also shared with me how people would reach out to him to advertise on his blog. He told me he could make revenue from the site because he was receiving massive traffic. He used to tell me how he received good college grades. However, all of these achievements were cut short due to a tragic purpose crash caused by a reckless driver. This devastating loss has motivated me to become an advocate for safer driving practices and to raise awareness about the importance of responsible driving habits.
Often, my son would share with me these accomplishments. A week before Deshon lost, he had just finished a photo shoot for his video, album, and mixtape cover. He was also promoting his upcoming music video on Facebook and Twitter for July 19, 2012. He was advertising for extras to be in his video. These achievements were a testament to his hard work and dedication to his passion for music. It is heartbreaking to think about all the potential he had and the impact he could have made in the industry. Sadly, and painfully, Deshon did not know he was going to be on this earth to film his music video because the Coach USA bus operator pull the rug of life from under his feet. Yet, the bus driver was not held accountable. Nor did he go to jail. Instead, he received his CDL back on the same day he murdered Deshon. It breaks my heart! Thereafter, he received a paycheck and back behind the Coach USA-NJ Transit bus as if he did not kill my son and my son's life was of no value. My son's death could have been preventable.
Early in middle school, Deshon started to sing in the chorus, and for their very first recital, he composed a beautiful classical piece. As an artist, Deshon, aka Sean Cos Mason, was quite adept, working in all sorts of media, including clay, paint, pastels, pen, and ink. One aspiration my son had was to have his artwork showcased in his hometown museum. He was always exploring new mediums and techniques, and his creativity knew no bounds. It's devastating to think about the future he could have had if he had been given more time to pursue his passions.
Beyond Deshon’s talents, he was a friend to many, in part because of the boundless energy, optimism, and talent my son brought. On so many levels, Deshon and I were kindred spirits, sharing much in common; as such, the day he died, a large part of me was lost as well. Deshon's legacy lives on through his artwork and music, which continues to inspire then captivate those who view it. His unique perspective and artistic vision will always be remembered and celebrated by those who knew him and those who discover his work in the future.
More than a recondite feeling of emptiness from my son’s death, in this nothingness, lies a broken heart that shall not heal until there is no longer breath within me and the day justice prevails, and that is the day Wilson goes to jail. Along with holding the people who had a hand in my son’s corruption be held accountable and serving time in jail because the cover-up is worsted than the crime.
Deshon's tragic death serves as a reminder of the importance of creating safe spaces for young black men to express themselves freely through any form of art. His legacy also highlights the need for systemic change to address the racial injustices that continue to plague our society. Alongside a bill passed in Deshon’s name and a memorial in honoring the location where he took his last breath. This serves as a small step towards acknowledging the harm that has been done and working towards a future where black lives are valued and protected. However, true justice will only be achieved when those responsible for Deshon's death are held accountable and systemic change is implemented to prevent similar tragedies from occurring in the future. This experience highlights the need for more resources and support for families impacted by violence, particularly in black and brown communities where systemic injustices are often most prevalent. We must continue to advocate for meaningful change and support those who have been impacted by violence and loss.
As nothing will bring my only child Deshon back, I have turned my loss into advocacy, out of the hope that my efforts will save others the grief that I know and raise awareness about the corruption with transportation agencies, the prosecutor, political figures, and others.
Along with hoping to grow alliances with other victims to put pressure on the governor and other politicians to create and pass a bill to hold these bus drivers accountable for pedestrians assaults' with a bus. This has meant working on campaigns toward #ZeroPeopleDeaths by bus drivers. I hope to go to the state of Virginia to speak before the Washington DC Department of Transportation and other county boards of supervisors and city councils, and on a national level, to promote initiatives such as passing laws to hold these bus drivers accountable, voice activation telling the driver to stop, automatic emergency braking systems, and ways to reduce distracted driving. I would rather be cheering on Deshon, seeing him walk across the stage to receive his multiple college degrees, and seeing him get a music award; unfortunately, I will never see those days, but this is what I have now.
As a way of honoring my son Deshon, I am going to raise money through a GoFundMe campaign towards the production of signs to be posted near where someone has lost their life by Coach USA, NJ Transit bus drivers, and train engineers, with one possible sign option from supporters. For each $500 raised, about 100 signs can be produced. The signs will include a message encouraging drivers and engineers to slow down and be cautious, as well as a photo of Deshon and a brief description of his story. I hope that these signs will serve as a reminder to all who pass by to drive safely and prevent further tragedies on our roads and railways. The intention is to bring greater awareness to these preventable losses and to promote action so others might not lose someone to unsafe roads.
After my son’s death, I reached out to Families for Safe Streets for community support. I was told by one of the representatives that they couldn’t help me. It made me sad to see the organization helped other parents who child was killed. FSS is an organization for those who have lost someone or who were injured by traffic violence. One of the founders, Amy Cohen’s 12-year-old son Sammy, was killed by the driver of a van in October 2013. She often says that FSS is a group you never want to be a member of. However, the organization provides a supportive community for those who have experienced similar tragedies and works towards creating safer streets for all. Through their advocacy efforts, FSS aims to address the root causes of traffic violence and hold accountable those responsible for these preventable deaths and injuries.
Deshon's story is a tragic one, as he lost his life due to a preventable accident. By sharing his story through these signs, I hope that Bloomfield, NJ, and Essex County political figures honor his memory and prevent similar tragedies from occurring in the future. We all must take responsibility for our actions on the road and do our part to keep ourselves and others safe.
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