Things Not To Say To a Bereavement Mother/Parent
This is a conversation I like to share with beraved mothers from the Grieving Mothers Support Group Page
I find this flyer and it says almost everything what people have been saying to me. I love the interaction #cartoon conversation amongst people who gossip or saying things to one another about a grieving parent. Some people do not have any clue.
We need to be mindful of what not to say to a grieving mother/parent. This flyer can help you. Parents, mother or people who are not either must understand that your life is good, happy, joyful, peaceful and rosy. It does not mean a mother or parent who lost their child is the same. Stop giving advice to a broken-hearted parent when you are not walking their shoes and if you are. We must keep in mind that every mother or parent who lost their child to any catastrophic death might not have that special spiritual loving close connection with their child. Or A mother who child die of health complication.
Please stop forcing your happiness on the grieving parent because you have your child and can hug them. A grieving parent or mother cannot do that; therefore keep your opinion to yourself and just be there with an open ear and heart. Stop passing judgment, forcing yourself to pray for the grieved parent, saying cliches and religious platitudes. You might think that your words are helping that grieving parent but it can be hurting them and putting the person in a depressing state. Sometimes not saying anything can be much helpful than saying something.
Some people do not have any clue. This, not a life we chose. It has been going on four years my only child has been killed by Community Coach reckless bus driver operating NJ Transit bus 709 in Bloomfield, NJ when he flew by the bus stop and jumped the curb running over my son twice.
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Chathrine Eriksson The most stupid things I have heard is "I lost my dog - I understand". Well I have a dog too - and have lost one. I cried, but I also know when I buy a dog that it will live about 8-15 years. Not 60-70 years that I would have with my child if we both would have health. The other was my youngest brothers mother after I put up an picture of my daughter here on FB after my loss.. "She's beautiful, but don't put up photos - let her rest in peace!". Oh, I was so furious! My girl was stillborn at full term and only look like she is sleeping. And it's the only pic's I have. I also want to show how proud I am of her. Just like her big brother. They are equal loved, wanted and beautiful! And peace? She doesn't decide that - that is my feeling and belief if any..
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Na Johnson I had a friend told me the same thing. He knows how I feel because he lost his dog. I told him you cannot compare the two. He told me he can because he loved his dog like it was his child. I told him how do you know a love of a child and you never have one. Then I said, it is different I carry my son for 9 months, endure labor pain and gain a spiritual love connection bind.
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Chathrine Eriksson Yes, It's diffrent because we are the creator of our children. .And feel love and pain even before birth. My dog we have now are like the baby I didn't could take home. But he is a dog - not an human baby. He is the greatest comfort, and if he died now - I will cry. And miss him a lot. But if we get another dog, he/she will comfort me too. Another child could not replace my lost child.
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Tarin Pinchotti Houpt I heard 'I lost a dog' also
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Gina McAdams My son was murdered. I got: he's in a better place, at least he's not suffering anymore (he wasn't ill), you should be ok by now, how long do you plan to keep doing this, think positive, all sorts of foolishness. The worst were from my dad. "If you'd just leave that boy in the grave you'd quit acting like this" and "Why don't you quit digging that boy up and let him stay in the ground? Maybe you'd stop crying". He won't even say his name, which is Brent, by the way. He says saying or hearing his name or hearing us talk about him makes him feel bad. Like his buried up feelings are so important. Mine can't be buried and I need to talk about Brent and hear his name. But can you believe a father would actually say that to his daughter??? Or anyone for that matter? It just breaks my heart even more to know that Daddy cares so little for Brent and for me.
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Chathrine Eriksson Gina McAdams 
<3 My mom, who share birthday with my daughter haven't even talked to me/us. I split up with her when I was 32 (my daughter was born when I was 36), but at least I think she could show that she is sorry somehow. My 2 kids are her only grandkids. We acctually have an...hm don't know the word. In Sweden we have the funeral with casket. If we choose to burn and have ashes - we collect the urn later and put it in the grave with only the person who works at the cemetary. Janitor? We choose to be silent when putting down the urn or say some words. Well, anyway our familygrave are beside my daughters grave. And my mum didn't even look at her - even though my cousin with kids lighted a candle under our ceremony for another relative. Or when the female janitor come over too me and gave me a big hug and asked how I was. She remembered me from my daughters funeral. Even though I don't talk to my mum, since the split up (because the is an "narcisstic mum") - I had some hope that she would show some feeling - anything. I guess that how old we get, we never stop hoping that the parents will "grow up". I am so sorry for your father. I do not get it. And I will never understand.
Chathrine Eriksson Na Johnson I am so sorry for you, I recognize the behavior of the mother. The obvious lies - and no sign of shame.... I have learned that my mum is an "narcisstic mother". After I read about that, I got peace. Because now I really know that it IS her - NOT me who are the twisted one. She had blamed me for everything during my childhood, so I thought something was wrong with me (even though she was the only one saying I was a bad girl). My little brother always was innocent. Well, even though he really have done lost's of mistakes - and I always have been hard hold(?) and didn't even got the chance to make mistakes (try my feet). When I did exactly as she said - I got yell'd at. I do am really happy not to have her in my life any more. My son too. I will always grief the mother ( & father) I never got to have, but my friends and other older family-members fill her place.
<3 My mom, who share birthday with my daughter haven't even talked to me/us. I split up with her when I was 32 (my daughter was born when I was 36), but at least I think she could show that she is sorry somehow. My 2 kids are her only grandkids. We acctually have an...hm don't know the word. In Sweden we have the funeral with casket. If we choose to burn and have ashes - we collect the urn later and put it in the grave with only the person who works at the cemetary. Janitor? We choose to be silent when putting down the urn or say some words. Well, anyway our familygrave are beside my daughters grave. And my mum didn't even look at her - even though my cousin with kids lighted a candle under our ceremony for another relative. Or when the female janitor come over too me and gave me a big hug and asked how I was. She remembered me from my daughters funeral. Even though I don't talk to my mum, since the split up (because the is an "narcisstic mum") - I had some hope that she would show some feeling - anything. I guess that how old we get, we never stop hoping that the parents will "grow up". I am so sorry for your father. I do not get it. And I will never understand.
Na Johnson Chathrine Eriksson Yes, you will think your parents will grow up. My mother said she wanted to come up to New Jersey to help me out and go to my son’s raising awareness event because she does not have the money to come to NJ. I asked her did you spoke to your other daughter to see if she has the money to bring her up here. My mother told me she spoke to my sister and she said she did not have the money either. I told her I am on set disability income and I do not have the money but I made sacrifices to pay her way. So, I flew my mother to NJ from Arizona a year after my son’s demise so she can help me out around the house because I am disabled. My mother told me she was going to pay me back in installments. Next thing I know she told me she did not have the money to pay me back. When my mother borrows for my two sisters she manages to pay them back. She told me that she does not want to hear their mouth but she ignore mine mouth.
A few weeks after my mother got her; she told me she was going leave on Friday to spend the weekend with my sister and be back Sunday night. I told her okay. I called my mother on Monday night to ask her is everything okay. My mother never told me she was going to North Carolina. I was very hurt and disappointed with my mother. When she came back from NC she came to my house, I did not let her in because I was having tremors it like a seizure. My sister called the police to get in and I was able to let her in. Do you know my mother act like she was so concerned about me and she wants to help me out? Then she shows the officer my text I sent her talking about how I want to die and be with my son but she did not show the police officer what I wrote about how they used me. I told the police officer. Then the officer asked mother and sister do I have these tremors spell all the time. They said yes. Then he said to my mother you left your daughter in this condition without checking up on her. My sister looked at each other than put their head down. I told the officer my mother left me like this for a week and never called to check up on me.
My mother and sister got upset and started calling me names. My mother told me I was selfish and I caused all this that is why I am in this predicament. Then they talked the police into calling the ambulance so they can be to the mental ward. How can a mother blame her child like me for my pain and loss of my only child? Do you know my mother and sister used me to get my mother to NJ so they can go to North Carolina and my mother told me how she brought her a BMW while living in AZ? And they call themselves Christian Family can be the worst.
A few weeks after my mother got her; she told me she was going leave on Friday to spend the weekend with my sister and be back Sunday night. I told her okay. I called my mother on Monday night to ask her is everything okay. My mother never told me she was going to North Carolina. I was very hurt and disappointed with my mother. When she came back from NC she came to my house, I did not let her in because I was having tremors it like a seizure. My sister called the police to get in and I was able to let her in. Do you know my mother act like she was so concerned about me and she wants to help me out? Then she shows the officer my text I sent her talking about how I want to die and be with my son but she did not show the police officer what I wrote about how they used me. I told the police officer. Then the officer asked mother and sister do I have these tremors spell all the time. They said yes. Then he said to my mother you left your daughter in this condition without checking up on her. My sister looked at each other than put their head down. I told the officer my mother left me like this for a week and never called to check up on me.
My mother and sister got upset and started calling me names. My mother told me I was selfish and I caused all this that is why I am in this predicament. Then they talked the police into calling the ambulance so they can be to the mental ward. How can a mother blame her child like me for my pain and loss of my only child? Do you know my mother and sister used me to get my mother to NJ so they can go to North Carolina and my mother told me how she brought her a BMW while living in AZ? And they call themselves Christian Family can be the worst.
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Chathrine Eriksson Na Johnson I am so sorry for you, I recognize the behavior of the mother. The obvious lies - and no sign of shame.... I have learned that my mum is an "narcisstic mother". After I read about that, I got peace. Because now I really know that it IS her - NOT me who are the twisted one. She had blamed me for everything during my childhood, so I thought something was wrong with me (even though she was the only one saying I was a bad girl). My little brother always was innocent. Well, even though he really have done lost's of mistakes - and I always have been hard hold(?) and didn't even got the chance to make mistakes (try my feet). When I did exactly as she said - I got yell'd at. I do am really happy not to have her in my life any more. My son too. I will always grief the mother ( & father) I never got to have, but my friends and other older family-members fill her place.
· 1 hr
Na Johnson Chathrine Eriksson I'm sorry to read about you with your mother too. I do not have any family or friends to help me. I am on this earth all alone. My son was all I had who did not try to use me and he'd love me unconditional.
· Reply · May 9 at 3:33pm
Chathrine Eriksson Tarin Pinchotti Houpt So stupid.
· Reply · May 9 at 4:47pm
Tarin Pinchotti Houpt My mom and daughter share a birthday too. But my mom hasn't been an ass. Sorry for you!
· Reply · May 9 at 5:33pm
Kimmy Littlejohn-Clark So sorry Gina McAdams...my mother was saying mean stuff to me too until I had enough and snapped. Then guilt kicked in and she apologized and we are ok cause I refused to back down and stop talking about my baby!
· Reply · Yesterday at 3:40am
Na Johnson-Kimmy Littlejohn
You have people get upset with you and do not want to be bothered with you when you respond to their insensitive comments dealing with a great loss and life changes. They will have the nerve to catch an attitude with you. These people want you to filter your words and be mindful of their feelings and so call helpful comments. When they do not give a shit about your feelings. Go figure!
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Reply · Yesterday at 3:40am
You have people get upset with you and do not want to be bothered with you when you respond to their insensitive comments dealing with a great loss and life changes. They will have the nerve to catch an attitude with you. These people want you to filter your words and be mindful of their feelings and so call helpful comments. When they do not give a shit about your feelings. Go figure!
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Reply · Yesterday at 3:40am
Na Johnson Gina McAdams I had this guy say to me, his grandmothers would say let the dead buried the dead. I looked at him and say, I am tired of those biblical sayings or how people want to interpret. It is easy said than done.
Naomi Lone Braxton ...one sister told me to: "get over it", & then another sister told me "you're not the only one who lost Amir, i lost my nephew, we're grieving the same"... or is it me!?....
The therapist told me, "I'm grieving too hard"... just seemed heartless because none of them lost their babies....
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The therapist told me, "I'm grieving too hard"... just seemed heartless because none of them lost their babies....
š¢
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Chathrine Eriksson Oh my God - now I remember my sister-in-law. She said that she was sorry that her daughter was alive!...She couldn't handle that we didn't wan't to visit them. She wrote a looong e-mail first saying that she was sorry and grieved a lot - for turning it too that we was stupid (with other words) that took her childrens uncle from them - and my boyfriends children was taken their uncle....Well my boyfriends oldest child was then 10 years old and their uncle had never visit them!
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Na Johnson No, it's not you grieving too hard. You're grieving how your emotions are telling how to grieve, missing your child and your love attachment for your child is telling you to grieve. Sometime the therapist says the most irrational things. My therapist told me stupid things to that left me in shock.
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Robin Allen How can you grieve too hard? Who are they to say that?
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Robin Allen Oh, and get a different therapist! The one who said that is worthless.
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Na Johnson Chathrine Eriksson My sister told me in front of my guest that I make everyone feel guilty that they have their kids at a birthday gather my son's best friend's mother gave me. I told her do not speak for everyone because that is how you feel. Then my sister threw in my face that I share with her that this so calls friend say to me when she compares her child disagreement argument separation with my son getting killed separation with him and me. About me being caught up in my own grief. My sister has the nerve to say that to me dealing with her worldly financial problem. My sister also said to me that she is tried walking on eggshells and she has no patience dealing with my grieving of my son's horrific murder caused by Wilson Romaine reckless driving operating NJ Transit running my son over twice when he jumped the curb killing then dragging my son's lifeless body 50 to 100 feet. I told my sister you are counseling people in the church and you monitor what you said to them and you have patients with your church people but you do not do the same to me. Your family can be the worst.
· Reply · May 9 at 1:37pm
Chathrine Eriksson Na Johnson Oh, I just wonder why there are such stupid people. There are people never say a word, not even a heart-emoji on social media/text-message - and then there are this people that are so hurtful. 
:(
:(
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Naomi Lone Braxton .. the same therapist also said that."i should only grieve upto 6 months to 1 year" anything after that, I'm just exaggerating my grievance"...
WtF f*ck !!??.. needless to say i never went back...
WtF f*ck !!??.. needless to say i never went back...
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Kimmy Littlejohn-Clark Wow what an idiot Naomi Lone Braxton...that therapist needs help. Grrr
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Lisa Henson Thomas 1. You will feel better if you do yoga.
2. If you are going to act this way, you should have died with Brooke.
3. You are so strong. I would have died if it was my child.
4. You are her mother! How did you not know she was sick?
5. Signs are from the devil. If you receive signs it's not angels or Brooke, it's the devil.
2. If you are going to act this way, you should have died with Brooke.
3. You are so strong. I would have died if it was my child.
4. You are her mother! How did you not know she was sick?
5. Signs are from the devil. If you receive signs it's not angels or Brooke, it's the devil.
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Na Johnson This guy told me if I go for a walk I will feel better because that is what he did when he lost his job.
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Robin Allen Yeah, people have told me how strong I am. Hah! If only they knew. They see what they want to see. People really don't know how to deal with the grief of others.
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Na Johnson Robin Allen I have a lot of people telling me the same thing. You are very strong. I tell them no I am not. They tell me I just do not see it and for me to stop thinking negative. I told them I am thinking reality and they are in a make-believe perfect world. Then I tell them we all walking around with a mask but you do not know what I am going through behind closed doors. They do not know stress is a silent killer.
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Robin Allen So true.
· Reply · May 9 at 1:40pm
Tarin Pinchotti Houpt Signs are from the devil?!
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Gina McAdams Don't you get sick of people who have never been where you are and their cures? Yoga..... please!!!
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Gina McAdams And no one is strong enough for this. Losing a child left me wondering why I was still breathing and wishing I could stop.
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Robin Allen right there with you, Gina McAdams
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Brigitte Strickland They tell me he is in a better place no place is better than with me because he committed suicide they tell me its the unforgivable sin and that he is not in heaven I choose to ignore
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· Reply · May 9 at 2:02pm
Na Johnson WOW! How do these people know if your son is in heaven or not? They are not the creator. I guess they think they are because that is what the Bible says. I know your baby is in heaven. This woman told me that her children are better being with her than anywhere else. Then she said to me that my son is in a better place. I told her you are ignorant and that is not what you said to parents like me who lose their child. I told her that my son is better with me too like your children are better off with you. Then I said that you are saying to me I am not a good mother so he is in a better place. It took me a lot to hold back and not to hit her.
· Reply · May 9 at 2:28pm · Edited
Brigitte Strickland Thank you so much
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Na Johnson Brigitte Strickland You are welcome.
· Reply · May 9 at 2:27pm
Brigitte Strickland Thank you and I didn't say that but should've but I was thinking it thank you so much
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Bridget Auger Your son is in heaven. I'm sure of it.
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Barbara Vegas Craigg My sons were 36-34 they had loving wife's David had 5 children Danny had 2 they did very well for there families money will not be a problem, my husband and I are high school sweet hearts , our boys were our life's on 11-13-16 they hit a roundabout on there motorcycles , when you lose adult children it feels like your life has been erased,well the one thing I think you should not say to a grieving mother is and my daughter inlaw said it was they were grown men!! It does not matter the age of a child when you lose a child you never recover 
ššI'm so broken ,God bless all of you
❤️❤️
ššI'm so broken ,God bless all of you❤️❤️
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Na Johnson, You are right age does not matter how old they were when you lose them they are still your children. They can be your unborn child in the stomach, teenager, young adult to an older adult in his/her 90 plus you still lost both of your Prince. The things people say. When they walk in your shoes they might understand. I had a person telling me you need to face your son's death do not be afraid because he wants you to move on I told him that is insensitive and I do not want to hear that. Do you know a year later one of his sons was shot cold blood it and he told me people told him the same things he told me? He told me he now understands what I was saying and feeling.
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Fatima Freitas Please!makes us feel abnormal!
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Judith Crites Statler The thing I hated the worse was #1 he just didn't think how much it would hurt you. No shit. Depression to suicide...it's the only way they see to stop the pain.
#2 to bad because it was suicide, he can't be allowed into heaven.
#2 to bad because it was suicide, he can't be allowed into heaven.
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Christi Bromlow Kornele I don't believe this. I believe my God knew where my son was and was with him and carried him home. I truly believe my son knew God since a very early age. I know my God would have never let this happen if he wasn't going to take him home. He promised me.
· Reply · May 9 at 8:47pm
Cheryl Rogers I had someone tell me 10 days after we buried my 13 yr old, " Now aren't you glad you don't have to rush home for the ventilator ? You can go shopping now!" (We had just met for breakfast at a local diner)
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· Reply · May 9 at 4:49pm
Na Johnson WOW, that is a terrible thing to say to a mother who is grieving the loss of her child. She makes it sound like your child was a burned and the burned has been release after you buried your precious baby, that person better hopes she never have to walk your shoes, if she has any children. I think that was an evil thing to say to you. I send you my hug.
· Reply · May 9 at 6:39pm
Phil Kiely Very true
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· Reply · May 9 at 6:33pm
Na Johnson May I share this conversational thread on my page? I think people need to know how us grieving mothers are feeling the same when hearing crazy insensitive words that come out of people mouth. I had a woman told me I am the only one feeling sensitive and not want to find peace with my son's death. I told her how can I find peace dealing with my son's murder and the images of seeing my son organ matters spread in the street. I told those images going to be with me every day. Then she said to me to feel those images with happy thoughts because you will never forget. Just find peace. I told her you are really upsetting me. I will never act like those images are not there or my son is not with me. I live with a disability and my son was helping me out now he is no longer with me. I call my son's cell phone to listen to his voice. I go on Youtube to look at his music video. It is hard and the grieving is real. I told her the only time I will have peace is when I am off this earth.
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· Reply · May 9 at 6:52pm
Bridget Auger " everything happens for a reason". HATE that
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Na Johnson, Someone told me the same thing. I hate that too. A person also told me you are still alive because God has a plan for you and what does not kill you will make you stronger.
· Reply · May 9 at 8:41pm · Edited
Bridget Auger I'd rather trade places with my son so he could grow up.
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Robin Allen I do too, yet I've said it just so well meaning acquaintances would just shut up.
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· 6 hrs
Carol McConnell Phillips Thank you for this post! My husband's 3 sisters and his mother have said so many insensitive things to us! One sister told my husband that God spoke to her and God told her that we need to move on!! His other sister told me to step outside of the box, after she told me my tears should be joy because of all the lives my Ricky touched!!!
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Na Johnson You are welcome. I thought this post will be good for us grieving mother to share I dislike, painful words, statement, cliche, and platitude that people or saying to us. I know I can come here to people who can relate to insensitive words that are being said to us and not being judged. or We are being brushed away as if we are frustrating one another with talking about our beloved child/children. I had a conversation with a woman who still has her children had shared thing that I do not want to hear. She told me I should find peace and by me see the murder bus driver who killed my son did I find peace or closure. I told her no it made me more upset. The drive lied in my face saying he will never kill my son because he has a family of his own. He acts like my son did not have any family. The female I was conversing with ask me that she is sure that other grieving mother does not feel that way I do, in terms of have peace with the loss of their child. So, I came across this flyer to post and show her that other grieving mothers feel the same as I. I heard somewhat the same thing that I should be proud that I raise my son in a right way that he touched others lives. I heard people told me God spoke to them to help me and my son want me to move on. I told, how can you speak for God and you cannot speak for yourself and you are not living the right way. I am so sorry we are all going through this.
Rachel Elizabeth Purcell I have realized that your family and friends for the most part are there for you directly after the death of your child. They tell you to call them anytime if you need anything but I learned real quick that's not the case. They don't seem to be able to handle the range of emotions you go through and quickly pass judgement on your well being. Most don't realize the emotions are normal for the type of pain and grief we are suffering. We can't be fixed this isn't going to go away. We need someone just to sit and listen, hold our hands and let us cry, yell, scream or just be there present in the moment. What we need is love and understanding and acceptance that this is our new life it's apart of us. I lost my child and then lost family over the death of my child. I was told I needed to stop and think about my other children like Ryan didn't matter. Barely a week after I was having an emotional day and was literally asked "what's the problem...are you mad because you made it and he didn't" I should be grateful I'm here I have kids that need me. Then you have those that tell you in time " I hope you find closure or I hope you get to a point where you can tuck him away". I remember one comment was "maybe when the time comes you can release him back into Gods care and keep him quietly in your heart"...what the hell like I have a choice as to weather or not I'm going to release my child...news flash he's gone God has him and I'm here and no I will not keep him quietly in my heart. Another one that literally sent me over the edge was "Our kids are on loan to us & how thankful you are to have had him for the time you did but there was reason god took him back. There is a reason for all things. Thank god for all your blessings every day". I have realized it makes the majority uncomfortable and that hurts because we want to keep them alive any way we can. They have a place not just in our hearts but in our families even after death. I'm lucky to have a select few that truly do reach out and don't expect this to be over and done it's just that the ones I thought would be there and understand don't. I have learned to walk away from more in the last four months than I ever have before. I am not mental and will not be told how to and when it's acceptable to grieve. I will not apologize for how I feel!!! I wish this life on no one!!! I'm sorry we all have this in common. Love, hugs and prayers to all my fellow GM's.
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Tammy Swearengin Love you Beth. (((Hugs)))
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Na Johnson Na Johnson I am sorry to read those rude remarks was said to you. My sister told me I should thank God for the time I spend with him for 22 years because others do not get that opportunity. Then she said I am blessed to have videos to look at him on Youtube during his music career because other people do not have that. My sister knows my son and I was close to her and her daughter. For her to make those hurt comments were hurtful. My sister told me well you should move out the state now to take care of mommy since Deshon is gone. Then she told me that I am wasting my life away by sitting in the house grieving over my only child death. She wants me to act as if my son never was on this earth. Your family can be the worst. Yes, you are right we cannot be fixed, unfortunately.
Veronica Rael Garcia They say all of that to me, but the one that really pisses me off, is when they try compare our child's death to a parents death or another relative. I have lost my Dad at age 15 to cirrhosis, my younger was murdered at age 17, but those deaths DO NOT COMPARE TO LOSING MY DAUGHTER. My world is no longer and I battle every day just to make it thru the day.
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· 22 hrs
Na Johnson OMG! That happened to me too. This female told me she understands what I am going through because she lost her mother. I told her that is a big difference. Your child you birth, watch raised and more. A mother develops the love for her child when he is in her womb. A doctor told me she understands what I am going through because she loses her husband. My cousin told me she knows how I feel because she loses her brother. I told these people it is different. I told her I lose my only brother and we were very close and my grandmother who was like a mother, it was painful to me. When my son was killed the pain is in no comparison to losing my son by a reckless bus driver. It is hard for me to breath. I tap on my chest so much because the pain is unbearable that it makes me feel like I am going to die. I have a hard time every day getting out of bed. The grief to me is like a slow death. I try everything to occupy my time and mind but it is not working.
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· 20 hrs
Robin Allen Every loss is different. Psychologically speaking, when someone makes the comparison, it means they understand you are hurting. They simply don't understand the importance of the difference. In their mind, it gives you common ground.
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Na Johnson, I hate when someone says to me...At least your breathing or At least you alive, How are you doing and let me pray for you? My response to those statements is...Because I am breathing does not mean I want to stop breathing. Because I am alive does not mean I am living, Everything that is alive does not mean it is living, it is just existence and you do not really want to know how I am doing because if I tell you how I am doing you will say I am complaining. The other statement people say to me about praying for me. I tell them how are you going to pray for me and you do not know what to pray for. According to the bible, it says it takes two is more to come to an agreement. Then I tell them how do you know I want you to pray for me if your life is not right.
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Robin Allen Due to my religious beliefs, when someone tells me they'll pray for me, the best thing I can do is say "thank you". I have to believe they mean well.
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· Reply · 6 hrs
Na Johnson Robin Allen I understand, Some people means well and others do not because you have religious people carry negative energy and they do not see it. I know when I was into my spiritual belief the bible says it takes two is to come in agreement and pray without works is dead. There is not anything going to come out of the prayer without your actions behind it. What are you trying to do as a believer to help the wounded soul and spirit?
Rhonda Sweatman You need to get over it. She's not coming back.
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Cheryl Rogers This has to be one of the most heartless. Ugh
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· 14 hrs
Robin Allen A bit ugly there and basically unnecessary.
Jennifer Doherty-Smith Horrible what happened to your son I am so sorry. People asked me the Gory details of how my daughter took her life. It's astounding and disgusting. They're just nosey
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Na Johnson I had people go into gory details on how the bus driver run my son over and my son's last reaction. It was so disgusting. I told them to spare me the details.
Na Johnson I had this so call friend told me she understands what I am going through because we are in somewhat the same situation. Because she loses her close relationship wither her daughter and her daughter does not want to speak to her. I told her that is not the same. You can mend your disagreement with your daughter and she can see her grandchildren if her daughter ever has any children. Then the selfish person got mad at me and said how dare I said that to her. Then she said I am caught in my own grief. I told her my son got killed which caused our separation and your disagreement with your daughter you caused your separation. Therefore, we are not in somewhat the same situation. The nerve of her insensitive heartless comments. Yes, I am caught in my pain of grief, because my son is gone off this earth. How can you bring a problem you caused due to your behavior to caused your daughter not to speak with you to a mother who is grieving over her son death. A grieving mother cannot be a problem solver. Here the problem is rectifiable and mine is not. She better wish her daughter never get killed like my son. This female supposed to be a friend and she knows how close I was to my son like she was with her daughter. There is no worry in the world is going to allow me to forgive her.
Na Johnson I had this so call friend told me she understands what I am going through because we are in somewhat the same situation. Because she loses her close relationship wither her daughter and her daughter does not want to speak to her. I told her that is not the same. You can mend your disagreement with your daughter and she can see her grandchildren if her daughter ever has any children. Then the selfish person got mad at me and said how dare I said that to her. Then she said I am caught in my own grief. I told her my son got killed which caused our separation and your disagreement with your daughter you caused your separation. Therefore, we are not in somewhat the same situation. The nerve of her insensitive heartless comments. Yes, I am caught in my pain of grief, because my son is gone off this earth. How can you bring a problem you caused due to your behavior to caused your daughter not to speak with you to a mother who is grieving over her son death. A grieving mother cannot be a problem solver. Here the problem is rectifiable and mine is not. She better wish her daughter never get killed like my son. This female supposed to be a friend and she knows how close I was to my son like she was with her daughter. There is no worry in the world is going to allow me to forgive her.
· 14 hrs
Cheryl Rogers I'm not sure how to answer that question other than "It's none of your business!"
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Robin Allen That's awful!
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· 6 hrs
Aunt Les Pyle We got similar questions about our son's violent murder. We wanted to tell them..oh well, you know what we wanted to say. Instead, in honor of our son, we simply said that we've chosen not to discuss his death and to focus on his life.
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· 1 hr
Na Johnson My sister husband sister had compared my son's death with her son's death on the same day we buried my precious 22-year-old Prince. She told me my son did not get murder his death was an accident. Her son's death was murder. (The bus driver killed my son when he blows by the bus stop while my son flagged him to stop. The bus driver jumped the curb running my son twice then dragged him 50 to 100 feet before he stopped) It is not like the drive had a heart attack or stroke ending my son's life. We as a driver have control of our driving. If we see someone it does not mean to continue driving and end a person life. My sister husband sister-son was shot head-on while he was chasing the gunman. Her son put his life on the line when he was sworn in as police officers to serve and protect the citizens. Unfortunately, that risk comes along with the job. Now my son was on his way going to work at Home Depot. He getting killed is not a part of Home Depot job description.
I was upset when she said that. I said to my sister the nerve of her to compare the death of the two. And my sister husband was cosigning her foolishness.
I was upset when she said that. I said to my sister the nerve of her to compare the death of the two. And my sister husband was cosigning her foolishness.
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Aunt Les Pyle A "friend" told me to get my priorities straight because Matthew didn't need me anymore but she did. So very ignorant and cruel. Did she really think this would motivate me to help her? Someone else said she knows exactly how I feel because her cat just died, then she started crying about the cat. The sad thing is that no one is taught how to lose their precious child and no one is taught how to respond to it. Love and genuine prayers for everyone here on Mother's Day.
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· 1 hr
Na Johnson What? Who is she to determine that your son does not need you. Then she compares her cat to your son's demise. Some people are so insensitive and do not know when to keep their mouth shut. A human child is so different than a cat.
My son’s godmother said that the bus driver who killed my son should have to say sorry. I told her do not say something stupid like that because sorry is not going to bring my son back. No, mother wants to hear that a person running her child over twice and admitting he saw him want to hear I am sorry. I was so hurt when she said that to me as if the driver can erase what he has done to my son. And she has only one child who is a boy.
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My son’s godmother said that the bus driver who killed my son should have to say sorry. I told her do not say something stupid like that because sorry is not going to bring my son back. No, mother wants to hear that a person running her child over twice and admitting he saw him want to hear I am sorry. I was so hurt when she said that to me as if the driver can erase what he has done to my son. And she has only one child who is a boy.
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My beloved son Deshon.
Pictures were taken by Mel Gattis Photography
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