You must be careful to say common greeting statement/phrases when dealing with birthdays, holidays or time of the days greeting. Non grieved parents/people without children need to know losing a child is a significant major change/ obstacle that the grieving parents must face. Therefore, if we say we love our friend a family we should change our word usage. Like happy, merry, good or your special day. Nonbereaved parent must understand there is nothing good, happy, special or joyous about losing a child in a bereaved parent life. We must be mindful every grieved parent is different. Please do not compare or assume that the words good, happy, merry did not upset the other grieved parent and it should not upset another. Every grieved parent responds differently.
How to tell the difference to a grieved parent response watch out for their body language, voice tone or if they say to you that they do not like the statement. Respect their wishes. Do not ask them, “when I can use happy, merry, special or good words again.” You cannot rush them back to what the worldview as a normal life, since your life is still normal because you have your child. Think about it; you do not like to change your way of thinking or asking a question or walking on eggshells. Do you think a grieved parent like to feel the way they are or trying to imagine spending the rest of their life without their child? Keep in thought they did not ask for the permanent change in their life, but it happens. Once again respect the grieved parent’s wishes like you want someone to respect yours.
Stop asking, How are you?https://datingcoachonwheels.com/blog/2016/2/24/stop-asking-how-are-you-my-top-3-alternatives
Instead of saying Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas to a bereaved parent consider using these alternative statements.
1. I am thinking about you on this day.
2. My thoughts are with you.
3. We are thinking about you.
4. You are always in my thoughts on days like this or today.
5. My feelings are with you on this day.
6. I give you my heartfelt feeling on days such as this one.
7. I am thinking of you on your birthday, this holiday or on this occasion.
8. I am thinking about you.
9. I send you my love on this day or your day (birthday)?
10. I give you my love on this day.
11. You are in my thoughts, or you are always in my thoughts.
12. I send you my hugs and kisses on this day.
13. I send you my birthday wishes.
14. You are forever in my thoughts.
15. You are in my thoughts for the holidays.
16. I wish all is well or be well.
17. I love you.
18. Have I told you I am thinking about you always?
19. I am calling or texting you to tell you I am thinking about you or love you.
20.Morning
21.Evening
22.Greetings
23.Night
24. I am checking up on you to send you good thoughts and wishes.
In conclusion, learn how to communicate effectively with a bereaved parent and filter your words correctly. Please do not assume that one statement is suitable for all bereaved parent. Please be mindful that we are all different individual with diverse interest, emotions, personality, traits, views, mindset and understanding. The above questions/ phrases will help you learn how to communicate with a bereaved parent without any unpleasant reaction or response. Non bereave parent need to know how to curve their questions and making it conducive for the parent. Be mindful that grieved parents are insensitive and vulnerable. You should monitor what comes out of your mouth and treat them with love and care like your will do to a child. When we around children, parents, and adults you look up to. You are watchful what words you use with respect. If, you do not know what word usage to use, "You should ask the grieved parent what word do you like for me to use." or "What word usage will make you feel comfortable". or "I will use the phrase you want me to use because I do not want to say anything to upset you anymore that you are". Also, nonbereaved parent or people who never had children let’s not being foolish, selfish and allow your pride to get in your way. You will want someone to respect your wishes, feelings and other emotions.
Do not try to convert a grieved parent in your way of think or they should think. Nor should you put pressure on a grieved parent or become aggressive, overbearing, dismissed to them. Most of all, do not put a set time when a grieved parent should stop grieving over their child. Learn about how to deal with grieved parents or do research what lamented parents faces when losing a child. Do not be a fool and thinking of being selfish, cruel, disrespectful, impatient, egotistical and displaying hard love will help a grieved parent to heal quickly or lessen their grieving. Adverse behavioral actions will only cause negative emotions reactions, withdrawn, friction, bitterness, and disownment. Use wisdom and allow that to lead your word that comes out of your mouth in the direction of humbleness. You must understand you can not force a grieving parent to be happy or joyful because they just lost a part of their soul, self, and spirit of happiness; which is their child they carry in their womb. When a grieving mother expresses her deep pain that is undescribed, she or he does not think the contrary. They are living in reality, and that is not anything negative about your pain a grieving parent is enduring. It is easy for a person who does not lose their child to look at the glass full than empathy because they are still with child. A grieving parent cannot get over their child withing in one week or years; especially if they spend 17 years or more with their child.
Quotes by Naomi Johnson (Soulality)
A fool is stuck in his selfish world and does not want to learn because he thinks his way of thinking is the correct way and trying to convert a person mind to feel like them. He/she does not choose to learn new ways to better him or herself. He rejects new knowledge set before him and become blind with personal pride. Therefore foolish, hurtful, spiteful things flow from the heart without self-control of their mouth with catastrophic word that tears down the soul/spirit. The fool does not care about a broken-hearted person but their feelings. Next thing you know the communication level is filtered with bitterness.
A wise man sits, listen, learn, observe and embrace the knowledge that was set before him. Then take the information to build and grow to become a better communicator with others who are in need of instructions. And his wisdom will operate with love, patient, understanding; self-control of passion that will take him/her a long way. His/here conversation is sweet as honey because he/she was mindful of other people feelings and was able to filter his word with humbleness. He/she does not allow selfishness and pride to blind him/her to see that truth of a hurt wounded soul/spirit that is crying for help or thirsty for knowledge.
Please be a wise person and share this information.
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