Chat for grieving mothers
I will like to share with my bloggers and the
internet, world how grieving mothers are
judge, being bully, torched and ridicule by family members.
Down below is my conversation I had with
a Grieving Mothers Support Group. You have people
who never lost a child always give you their negative
views on how you should act like your child never
existence on this earth. Please feel free to share
your opinion on this conversation and other grieving
mothers comments to me. If you never walked in our
shoes please do not put any insulting comments. You
must understand that mothers who lost their children
by illness view their child death different than mothers
who child was murder at the hands of another human
being. or Who the child was in a car accident? When a
a child is sick the mother has the opportunity to
prepare them for their child death and get to hold
them; also to spend those last moment with them on
this earth before they transition.
Hello My Grieving Mothers
I need someone who understands me as a grieving mother to talk with. I want to share with you all a heartless insensitive conversation I had with a family member pertaining to the death of my son, I had with a family member who calls herself a Christian. I called her on a matter does not pertain to my son but she took the liberty of telling me about a mother and father who son was killed and how they moved on but still grieves. I told her I did not want to hear about that then I moved on to another topic but she did not want to leave the conversation alone. She told me that she wants me to move on dealing with my son death because it is the pass and I should not be concerned with the pass. I told her I cannot grieve for their child like they will not grieve mind. Then I told her that they have each other and I have no one that I am on this earth all along with a nerve damage disability that makes me fall on the floor and leave me immobile and incoherent. I told her my son was my only child and he was here to take me to the doctor, pick me off the floor, cook for me, clean for me and drive me to places. She told me, yeah but you need to move on because we all have to die and you go to move on and do better. I told her you are rude, intensive and live in a world of fantasy. I told her it is easy for her to say that because she still has her daughter on earth and her seven grandchildren, therefore, your world is great with no problems. She told me she feels like ending her life because her life is not great because she has a money problem and other problems. I told her those problems are rectifiable and the problems you caused but people like me we did not cause our problems. We grieve every day and how you going to tell me to move on. I told her I live with images seeing pictures of gruesome details of my son's brain matters all over the road when the lawyer pulls out the picture in front of me. And descriptive details on how my son brain matters were in the back wheel by a retired judge who was the lawyer. The judge lies and said my son was on the street chasing the bus down and I told him that is a lie because I saw the pictures where my son's sneakers were on the curb and his remain was close to the curb. Also, I read the witness statement when he said he saw the driver run over my son twice while my son was at the front door knocking hard to get on. The judge got upset and said the bus front wheel did not kill your son it was the back wheel when I told my cousin that she told me but still you have to go on with your life. I told her I live with these images and cannot drive anymore because every time I look at a bus see the graphic images and cry plus scream. I told her she has no clue what I am going through and it sounds easy to her because she never walked my shoes. I am devastated and just want to be happy again. I am living in hell and in a bad nightmare without a rewind button, turn off switch or a pause button. It has been 4 years and 10 months and two weeks my son were gone. My son was my best friend and my world. The bus driver never was charged. I heard the police and NJ Transit / Community Coach USA Bus Company lawyers tell the driver he did not do anything wrong and the head prosecutor detective is going to take.
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Yvonne Tobin No words can express my heart ache for you...big hugs
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Na Johnson Thank you
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Glory Bunde What a beautiful soul your son is! I just wanted to say my son, Dylan died 2 yrs ago in a motorcycle accident and I have trouble driving anywhere near motorcycles. I also have images that are a constant of the way I know his face looked like when he realized what was happening. We are all living in a hell but I'm so glad I have all of you.
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Na Johnson How can you get the images out of your head? I saw the images and it is horrible. I have people tell me they will pray for me and God give me strength. When tremors flair up and leave me confined in the house there is no God. I cannot cook for myself without my tremors flair up. There is no God cooking for me. There is no God driving me to my distention. I have images of the fear on my face when the driver runs him over. I can feel in my spirit the pain he was in and how he screams when he saw the bus running him over. Thank you for sharing with me how your son's transitions off this earth.
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Glory Bunde I can relate so much. I however am not dealing with the physical issues you are. I have been diagnosed with PTSD. Have you ever talked with a professional about the possibility? My heart just feels your pain and you should never feel guilty or bad for your pain.
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Lisa Underwood Desmond My heart is with you as well as my prayers xoxo
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Na Johnson Thank you Lisa Underwood Desmond, but prayer is not helping. My health is declining and prayer is not with me when my disability flairs up leaving on the floor. I cannot cook for myself or go to the store. My son used to do that for me but he is no longer here. Hugs!
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Lisa Underwood Desmond I am truely sorry Na, I know the pain you are going thru. I also have health issues and my oldest daughter was always with me she had asthma we took care of each other she suffered brain damage due to medical negligence after a asthma attack and has been total care since its been 6 years thinking nothing could hurt me more than that then a year ago my oldest son dies by suicide I had to rely on my faith or I couldnt go on for the beautiful grandchildren these two gave me and my other beautiful grandkids my younger son and daughter. Please know you're in my thoughts.
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Na Johnson Lisa Underwood Desmond Thank you for me being in your thoughts and not preaching to me about God, prayer, blessing, and Jesus. I greatly appreciate that.
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Kelly Trivigno so sorry for your loss.. I know how you feel, we all do, having lost our children as well. prayers for you !!!
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Na Johnson Thank you Kelly Trivigno
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Na Johnson Thank you Kelly Trivigno, I wish prayer can help but it is not... I live by my son with a disability that leaves me immobile and cannot do for myself. My son used to be here to help me out to take me to the store, cook and help me clean. Now, I am all alone with these images that torment me.
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Terri George Gillespie I am so sorry that you have no one to help you and especially for the loss of your beautiful son. Do you have a social worker or case worker that can assist you in finding the help you need?
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Na Johnson Yes, I had a psychologist. She tries to help me by calling Medicare to see if I can get a home health aid and transportation. They told her if I had Medicaid the can help but I have Medicare there is not much of service they offer. I try to Medicaid they told me I made to much money to get there services.
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Shyy Reed So Sorry, I definitely can relate I have 6 & Marc was a Great kid not to say my others babies were not but, how it happened So devastating, especially when I can't do Justice! So hugs & kisses Prayers
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· Reply · May 26 at 3:26pm · Edited
Cyndi Barnes Hesterly-Reed Very sad. They just don't understand losing a child is the worse loss. I am having a hard time. I made appt to see a counselor..i will be praying for you hugs sister mom
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Shandra Ferguson I am so sorry Na! Have you tried calling your local Health Department and asking for their Social Services Division? They should provide info and referrals, would be great if they could find someone to help you! Sending love and hugs to you!
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Na Johnson I did go to my local Services Division she was not helpful. She was using the, I message which was not helpful. I find a psychologist method has a different approach. My disability is getting worst and the images of my son do not allow me to operate my vehicle in a safe manner. I try to get some sought of transportation through my Medicare. The transportation company told me they cannot help me unless I have Medicaid. I try to get Medicaid and they declined me.
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Shandra Ferguson Well don't give up Na! Do you think if you went back to your doctor they might give you a note to qualify for more services? Or maybe if you talked to someone else at your local Services Division, they might be more helpful? Some of those workers ar...See More
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Cynthia Rivers (Tears).....Sending Prayers!!
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Na Johnson Thank you for your hugs but I am not in prayers. I know the bible says prayer without action is powerless and faith without works is dead and it takes two or more to come into agreement for the prayer.
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Cynthia Rivers Ok!!
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Dorthy Brock Cotner I'm so sorry!!! Take your time I lost my first child in 1988 and I'm still grieving for him I still picture him in my mind I lost my adopted son in 2005 and my daughter in 2012 so everyone is different as far as the grieving process and I ignore people that try to tell me and I say come talk to me when you lose a child but I pray you never do love you praying for yu
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Cyndi Barnes Hesterly-Reed So sorry Dorothy cant image losing 3
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Sandra Taylor Let me say, how fucking dare anyone tell u to move on, figures it's a family member they are the worse. You have been through he'll and are still suffering now. My sister's don't call me, one said "you should be happy the funerals over " wtf, why say something so hurtful. I don't speak to my bitch sister's never will. People think they know about grief but, news flash, they know nothing unless they are going through it. So. Tell her to kiss your ass, you grieve baby, long as u need to. I'm at 2.5 months, lost my beautiful daughter Cheri.
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Na Johnson Thank you for your warm felt words. Yes, you know the family is the worst. I curse her ass out. She told me to stop cursing at her because she did not curse at me. I told her do not tell me what the fuck to do after you insulted me. She told me oh we all have to die. I told I know that but not in an inhuman way. I told hope it was your daughter or grandchildren. Then I said to her I told she is ignorant. She goes on to start telling me about God. I told I do not want to hear that. Now, my sister told me I was wasting my life away, I am caught in my own pain, she is tired of walking on eggshell, she has no patience with me, I told her you counsel people in the church and you mindful what you say and you have patience with them. My sister also told me a day after I buried my son to move with my mother in AZ since my son Deshon is gone and she told my son a lot of negative things to me. She also said in front of everyone at my birth gather my son's best friend mother house that I was making everyone fills guilty because they have their children. I looked at her and do not speak for everyone that is how you feel. She came in between a conversation when I was thanking everyone for their help. She told me I am not being grateful for everyone being at the gathering. She came in on half of the conversation and missing me thanks everyone and started to verbally attacking me. My others sister also attacked me and my mother. They all call themselves Christians with all of that negative energy. I do not speak to any of those Mother Fuc_-My mother owns me money and said she was going to pay me back. Then she told me she does not have much but she will pay installments because she does not have any money. Do you know a few months later she brought her a BMW car? The family will fuck you over all the time or feel they can say whatever they want. It is disturbing when your family do not see their fault what they have done to you but see yours. Then blame everything on you as if you are the problem but not knowing that they are the cause of my actions. or Provocate you to act in a way you do not normally behave. My sister always quote biblical scripture to me to make me feel guilty but she miss the scripture in the bible says do not provocate your sister or brother. My so call Christian sister will always manipulate me by saying, Christian does not act the way you are and the devil is getting into you. However, when she acts in a mean way she tells me that oh she is just human. My sister has a double standard. I call it being a Hippocratic.
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Sandra Taylor Amen, I fucking hate my piece of shit sisters, my in laws. They told me I should be happy, funerals over. Wtf, family is highly overrated. Keep away from them, I do.
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Debbie Lawson I'm so sorry for your loss . my heart aches for you and shame on your cousin who told you your son Is in the past . she had no idea of what she's talking about . he's still your child and until she can walk in your shoes she has no right to judge . I hope she never feels the heart wrenching pain of losing a child. sending big hugs . God Bless
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Na Johnson Thank you for your hugs and kind words but I am not into God blessing. Because he is not here when my nerve flare up and go into tremors. I am home by myself immobile without help or someone cooking, clean and driving me around. God blessing is not here with me. My son uses to do that but he is not here.
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Cathy Truden You don't need to explain anything to anyone. Unless they have lost a child they do no know what it's like! It never gets better... just different, every day. You grieve at your own pace. Try to find a support group in your area. Find another mom who has gone through this to talk to. Ignore those people, I don't think they mean to hurt us with their advice... they are just ignorant. Sending hugs and prayers.
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Donna Pate I still grieve for my son after 3yrs, he found out he had lung cancer in feb 2013 he took radiation and chemo,bc it looked it was getting better but then it went into hospital bones and brain, he fought so hard for a year and never gave up hope, he wan...See More
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Na Johnson Thank you for your kind words, but I am not into God Blessing because cause nor his blessing is helping off the floor when my tremors set off or her cooking for me or helping me get around. My son was my only child. I did not have time to hold him and said my good-bye. My son told me he will come home but instead, I get a call from the police say they have a package for me. When I went to Bloomfield police department they told me my son was in a bus accident. I am thinking the bus crash into a car or my son was on the bus and the bus crash into a car. In the newspaper and news said my son was hit by the bus. My son's new lawyer information shows that my son was at the front door and run over twice by the bus. I had no preparation for my son's death. My son did not have any children. I appreciate you sharing with me on how your beloved son had transition off this earth.
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Patricia Boles Sanders So sorry... I'm praying for you
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Leday Lachrisha Praying. Sooo sorry for your loss
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Na Johnson Thank you
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Leday Lachrisha You welcome
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Judy Geiger I don't think any of us can get on with our lives. I think of my son every day as I am alone now also.he was my only child. I'm not going to tell you about the battles I go through with my sister but just know you are not alone in this. Big hugs
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Nanny Garcia Praying for you
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Keisha Neal Hugs and Kisses. That's just wrong all the way around
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Harriet Choinski I am so sorry about your son and let me just say there is no moving on when you lose a child and people who never lost a child don't get it so she has no idea what she is talking about!! Your heart is broken into a million pieces and will never mend and the grief and pain of losing a child never goes away. Mostly time will never heal this pain and grief so don't listen to her harsh and cruel words. It will be 5 yrs for me on 9/21 since I lost my daughter, Cheryl and believe me it gets worse as the yrs go by. Your son is a very beautiful and has a beautiful soul. I am sending you prayers, hugs and love😎😘😗😙😚☺🙂🤗🤗
😎😘😗😙😚☺🙂🤗🤗
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Andrea Carchidi Scott So very sorry for the loss of your son and the sad circumstances that haunt you 😢 people that haven't lost a child have no idea what's its like living day after day with grief that comes on in waves and in many ways. No one has the right to tell a grieving Mom to "move on"!! Sending big hugs, lots of Love, and prayers for you ❤❤❤❤
😢 people that haven't lost a child have no idea what's its like living day after day with grief that comes on in waves and in many ways. No one has the right to tell a grieving Mom to "move on"!! Sending big hugs, lots of Love, and prayers for you ❤❤❤❤
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Tara Prystawik Na, first of all, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my son in a motor vehicle accident 02/05/14. I also have a neurological disorder called RSD. I'm not sure if you've heard of it. You can send me a PM if you'd like. Sounds like we've got a lot of things in common
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Kim Johnstone Prayers & hugs
Sad
Angry
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Diana Colon Praying for you.
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Sandra Taylor Tara, my ex-husband had rsd, it's terrible
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Yvette Lewis I think if some things I used to say to someone grieving ( although I never said you have to move on) but I remember saying to a grieving mother one time, I know it's so hard " I lost my mom" and NOW that I have lost a child i totally understand that was such a stupid thing to say there is NO comparison, but at the time I thought it was said to comfort. People just have NO idea
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Leesa Lue What a beautiful person your son must've been....and Mom he's a handsome fella too!
I'm so sorry for your loss....
I will be praying for you and you're not alone. ...
I'm mourning the loss of my 29y/o son....it's only been 8 months, which seems like a lifetime. ...
I feel lost most of the time...
It jus seems so unfair
I'm so sorry for your loss....
I will be praying for you and you're not alone. ...
I'm mourning the loss of my 29y/o son....it's only been 8 months, which seems like a lifetime. ...
I feel lost most of the time...
It jus seems so unfair
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Tammy Duncan Im so sorry your going thru this pain and constant reply of your sons death. You formost dont ever feel you have to explain anything to anyone who especially hasnt lost a child. They will never ever understand until they lose a child God forbid. Try not to let your cousin upset you. Go seek a grief support group to help you. God Bless you and Best wishes. Lost my daughter in 2009 and it still is as painful as when she died. Just live from Moment to moment with this life sentence💔😇 just know hes with you always
💔😇 just know hes with you always
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Cindy Thomas I'm so very very sorry Na!!! You don't deserve this!! I didn't get anything for my son's death either!! It's horrible!!! Your family member has NO right!!!! You are in My <3 and in My prayers!!!!! <3 <3
<3 and in My prayers!!!!! <3 <3
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Connie Ramos Don't let people tell you how long to grieve that was your son not hers prayers is what kept me going my son die 3-6-96 it still hurts will always hurts just ask God to give you strength every day take one day at a time
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