Deshon Johnson's College Scholarship Foundation: Grieving Mothers

Grieving Mothers

I will like to share with my bloggers and the

internet, world how grieving mothers are

judge, the bully, torched and ridicule by family

members.

Down below is my conversation I had with a Grieving Mothers Support Group. You have people who never lost a child always give you their negative views on how you should act like your child never existed on this earth. Please feel free to share your opinion on this conversation and another grieving mothers comments to me. If you never walked in our shoes, please do not put any insulting comments. You must understand that mothers who lost their children by illness view their child death different than mothers who the child was murder at the hands of another human being. Or Who the child was in a car accident? When a child is sick, the mother has the opportunity to prepare them for their child demise and get to hold them; also to spend those last moment with them on this earth before they transition.

Hello My Grieving Mothers

I need someone who understands me as a grieving mother to talk with. I want to share with you all a heartless, insensitive conversation I had with a family member about the death of my son, I had with a family member who calls herself a Christian. I called her on a matter does not pertain to my son, but she took the liberty of telling me about a mother and father who son was killed and how they moved on but still grieves. I told her I did not want to hear about that then I moved on to another topic but she did not want to leave the conversation alone. She said to me that she wants me to move on dealing with my son death because it is the pass and I should not be concerned with the pass. I told her I cannot grieve for their child like they will not grieve mind. Then I said to her that they have each other and I have no one that I am on this earth all along with a nerve damage disability that makes me fall on the floor and leave me immobile and incoherent. I told her my son was my only child and he was here to take me to the doctor, pick me off the floor, cook for me, clean for me and drive me to places. She told me, yeah but you need to move on because we all have to die and you go to move on and do better. I told her you are rude, intensive and live in a world of fantasy. I told her it is easy for her to say that because she still has her daughter on earth and her seven grandchildren, therefore, your world is excellent with no problems. She told me she feels like ending her life because her life is not great because she has a money problem and other problems. I told her those problems are rectifiable and the issues you caused but people like me we did not cause our problems. We grieve every day and how you going to tell me to move on. I told her I live with images seeing pictures of gruesome details of my son's brain matters all over the road when the lawyer pulls out the picture in front of me. And descriptive information on how my son brain matters were in the back wheel by a retired judge who was the lawyer. The judge lies and said my son was on the street chasing the bus down and I told him that is a lie because I saw the pictures where my son's sneakers were on the curb, and his remain was close to the curb. Also, I read the witness statement when he said he saw the driver run over my son twice while my son was at the front door knocking hard to get on. The judge got upset and said the bus front wheel did not kill your son it was the back wheel when I told my cousin that she told me bust still you have to go on with your life. I told her I live with these images and cannot drive anymore because every time I look at a bus see the graphic images and cry plus scream. I told her she has no clue what I am going through and it sounds natural to her because she never walked my shoes. I am devastated and just want to be happy again. I am living in hell and in a bad nightmare without a rewind button, turn off switch or a pause button. It has been 4 years and 10 months and two weeks my son were gone. My son was my best friend and my world. The bus driver never was charged. I heard the police and NJ Transit / Community Coach USA Bus Company lawyers tell the driver he did not do anything wrong and the head prosecutor detective is going to take.